CASSETTE BOY vs THE NEWS

[Cassetteboy Vs The News]
Okay, hello. The BBC has won a high court battle for the right to broadcast child pornography. And there could be more bad news on the way.

Good evening welcome to the BBC News taken out of context. Our top story tonight.

The battle of our bonuses is far over, hundreds of city traders and bankers wearing Balaclavas ambushed the Royal Bank of Scotland today. Business Tycoons carrying sledgehammers smashed British biggest bank shoplifting their multi-million pound bonuses. Police have described the high flying bosses as dangerous.

But first tonight the celebrity chef Antony Worrall Thompson has delivered an defying speech at his local branch of Tesco. He promised to use an iron fist to deal with protests against his T.V. programs.

When it comes to alcohol, how much is too much? The court in Paris said it’s up to Scotland to decide. They say you should have 300 units every 45 minutes and stop off for a beer on the way home. That’s already a guideline in Scotland.

Our correspondent Jeremy Cook has been focusing on the market town of Hereford,

[Jeremy Cook]
Hereford, Hereford, Hereford. Jeremy Cook BBC News Hereford,

[Cassetteboy Vs The News]
A reminder tonight of salacious gossip. There’s been a shock response around the world the video footage appearing to show US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton urinating on Boris Johnson, for an ITV program. It was deplorable behavior.

The labor leader Ed Miliband has told BBC that his cocks have remained untouched for thousands of years and maybe just maybe the longest on record for a British Citizen. Thousands of women remain confused and worried.

The government says it has not plans to get the economy moving again, but David Cameron said the Olympic Games in the Queens Diamond Jubilee would provide opportunities to showcase the countries struggling to pay the bills.

In the meantime, there are still plenty of people who want to kill off David Cameron, but today there was a rare display of unity in the common as David Cameron and the labor leader Ed Miliband both decided that they should be allowed to end their own lives.

And Nick is in Westminister for us: What is David Cameron really up to?

[Nick Robinson]
The British Prime Minister is a posh English Queen, he has his own dick up his ass.

[Cassetteboy Vs The News]
Nick thanks very much. Goodbye.